Titanic

So Erica and Lynx and I went to see Titanic 3D on Tuesday. I was initially reluctant to give James Cameron any more of my money because I still regret strongly the hours of my life I wasted sitting through that blue tinted Pocahontas rip-off called Avatar, but Titanic is awesome for many reasons, the costumes, the love story, a young Leo. But before you go I'd like to remind you of all the horrible things about the Titanic movie so you can prepare yourself:

- the boat sinks
-1, 514 people die
- you hold your breath through half the movie
- the old couple in the bed about to drown
- the mother and two children in the bed about to drown
- the musicians who play until they drown
- the Irish guy who gets shot
- the captain at the helm when the windows burst and he drowns
- Thomas Andrews when he adjusts the clock on the mantle even though he is about to drown
- The foreign man and his son who go the wrong way down the passage and drown when the doors burst open
- the worker in the belly of the ship who doesn't make it through when they close the doors and he drowns
- all the people who fall off the ship when it is at a 90 degree angle, especially the guy who hits the goddamn propeller! OW
- all the people who sit in the lifeboats listening to the cries of the people in the water, and they DO NOTHING
- Jack Dawson freezes to death

Anyways, the first half of the movie is highly enjoyable, but for your own sanity leave after the car sex, as soon as you see that foggy hand print, grab your coat and get out of the theater. That way you can tell yourself that the boat made it to America and Jack and Rose lived happily ever after, and sold the Heart of the Ocean and bought a big house and Jack did nudie drawings of Rose forever, awwww. Also if you were looking forward to 3D boobs, you should know that the drawing scene is not in 3D.

Also- Erica cried at the end of the film. Apparently, it brought back all the trauma of seeing Titanic when we were 9 years old in 1997.