Raising Brows

Men- all you need to know is: unibrows, NO.

Liz- the reigning Queen of brows

Ladies- eyebrows are an extremely important part of your visage. They are the window frames to the soul! As a student of Art History I am qualified to advise on matters of framing.

Caroline is not impressed with your low social standing

Without eyebrows you wouldn't be able to express some of your favourite emotions, surprise, skepticism, anger and most importantly disdain. You know how sometimes you want to seem sweet and docile but sometimes you want to lay down a judgemental stare that will crush someone's soul? Do you think Caroline Bingley would seem like such a snobbish B if she didn't have a powerful arch in her brow? And I know a lot of people are like "nooo judgement is baaadd." First of all, if anyone ever tells you that they are "non-judgemental" you should know that they are judging you for being judgemental so call that hypocrite out! or stare them down with your judging brow! Besides Jesus Christ is judgemental and I don't hear anyone complaining about that. At any rate, with the 2012 Zombie Apocalypse fast approaching, we can all expect to be experiencing a lot of judgement in the next year and by judgement I mean LAST JUDGEMENT.

I will smite you with my brooowwwww

Alright, back to eyebrows. I know many people who successfully pluck their own eyebrows at home and they look great. I, however, cannot pluck my eyebrows because it inevitably triggers a sneezing fit. It's called photic sneeze reflex and its the same thing as when you go out into bright light and sneeze. A quarter of people have this reaction. It is caused by mixed up signalling from the trigeminal nerve (the nerve responsible for sensation in the face.) Sensations get mixed up and your brain tells your nose to achooo. Another interesting sneeze fact- there is a condition called "honeymoon rhinitist' where a person experiences uncontrollable sneezing during sex. Scientists think this may be because the nose (and the ears) are the only parts of the body outside the reproductive system that have erectile tissue. WEIRD.

So eyebrows. If you decide not to pluck your eyebrows, its time to go see an esthetician. Home waxing kits are just crazy. Don't use them, spend $15 once a month and go see someone who knows what they're doing.

Now, I have done a pretty extensive study of what makes a great esthetician. And many of these lessons I've had to learn the hard way, so I pass them on to you, so you do not have to suffer as I did. If your esthetician was born in Canada, run away. The best estheticians are Eastern European. Almost every Canadian-born girl I've ever had has destroyed my face, I have literally left a salon bleeding, I have gritted my teeth through a 20min torture session, I have had one brow significantly more groomed than the other (giving me a semi-permanent look of skepticism), I've even lost an entire half of an eyebrow- she just went wax crazy!! OKAY these stories have probably terrified you so here is what you need to know to never experience this:

- only go to Eastern European women, preferably older
- never pay less that $15, you get what you pay for and every $12 wax I've ever had was HELL
- a good esthetician that you are seeing for the first time should ask you what want and they should take a few seconds to measure out your face (see vid below)
- it should be mostly pain free, if your experience is excruciating, that is not what it is supposed to be like
- it should be fast, like 10 min

The main point you should take away from all of this, is be judgemental, only go to Eastern European estheticians.

I highly recommend you go see Mary at Floka Salon at Bayview and Eglinton. She meets all of my criteria!

Caroline and I on Halloween- juuuddggeee

If you insist on DIY at least watch a tutorial.